- Revision and rewriting

+Rewriting is not just JUST REWRITING

+ it’s rethinking, re conceptualizing and approaching new things. (rethink: perspective, structure, sequence of things, obstacles, character’s behavior, actions/speech, the character’s goal.

- Everyone should at least try and rewrite their stories 5 times so that the original idea is preserved

- You will never find out what is really in you until you write and rewrite

- This doesn’t mean just polishing phrases

TIPS:

- Study your story, see it with a new vision and changed values

- Write it afresh

- Then maybe scrap it, start all over again – don’t be afraid to do this!

- After this, then you can begin “polishing”

- Finding expressions with character, dialogue that has rhythm

- It may take 2 or more versions to bring out the full colour of the characters or yourself

QUOTE:

The inclination of the egoist is to get as much as he can, but at the same time not to change.

THE FINAL DRAFT

- Read with a fixed (focused) eye

+Re-read through your story carefully

+Focus on a particualr aspect each time, ie, character, location, action, etc.

Ask yourself:

- “Is the protagonist ALWAYS the focus of the story?”

- Is he/she doing anything or is everyone else always doing stuff around him/her

- “Is he/she even there?!!”

2) THE CHAINSAW IS YOUR FRIEND

+ Now is the time to look at the script economy

+ Why have your reader dying to finish after 4 pages when they could be craving for after 2.

- Ask yourself:

+ “Where do my scenes begin? Where do they end?”

+ “Can six lines be said in three”

+ “Can I trim the fat? Can i cut the exposition? Can I tell it visually instead?’

3) CRANK IT UP!

+The stakes are high – can they be higher?

+ More to lose = More dramatic tension

Ask Yourself:

-”Does everything matter enough? Can everything matter more?” (Does the situation matter enough to the characters? If it matters more to the characters, the characters will matter more to the audience.)

- Am I giving my characters hell? Is it fun to see them squirm and satisfying enough when they get out of it?”

- A physical place (create or real)

- Must allow events to take place, the place where the events happen

-  May also represent the villian of the story

- What elements make the location interesting? E.g geographical position, climate, rules (spoken & unspoken)

- A setting and surrounding that interacts with the characters of the film by adding importance to their actions

- An environment which impacts the action and heightens the stakes

- Threat of being in the location (can be man-made or natural)

- Impact of a newly introduced character/element)

Eg. Jurassic Park

Location: Jurassic Park is a zoo located on an island off the coast of Central American

Interactive Location: The island is completed isolated and anyone on it will be trapped until assistance from the mainland arrives.

-We write best what we know well

Dynamic Action

<<Story is Action>>
No action —-> no interaction ==> no conflict
-Action encompasses any kind of movement, activity, and interaction between the characters and also between the characters and their surroundings
- Talking about how one feels is not as powerful as illustrating why one feels the they do through action.

<<Film Is Behaviour>>
-Action is the manifestation of behavior
-The complexity of the human psyche and interaction is better understood when it is possible to watch the actions, nuances and reactions of the characters.

<<Dynamic Action>>
- Has the potential to enrich the experience of the audience by heightening the stakes and increasing the tension.

Moving Pictures

THE POWER OF ANY STORY LIES IN THE NARRATOR’S ABILITY TO PROJECT A MENTAL PICTURE FOR THE AUDIENCE.

Comparsion of traditions and machines. How traditions keep people together and how machines are very cold and monotonous.

>>Purpose of the exercise.

- Addresses the problem many newbies have to screenwriting.:

HOW TO CONVEY VISUALLY ANY SENSE OF INNER EMOTION

Review Exercise:

- Boss called Thembile to shoot the dog because of desperation that he might die?
- Thembile cut the string because of affection for the dog?
- Thembile didn’t want to open the bag because of fear that the dog might hate him.
- Dog protects boss because of loyalty and fear that boss will be attacked?
- Dog goes over when Thembile whistles because of trust.
- Fear of disobeying the boss.

**ASSIGNMENT ONE!!

1ST DRAFT OF STORY DUE WED, 6 JAN 2010

PRINTED COPY IN CLASS. SOFTCOPY ON SAFEASSIGN

FORMAT: COURIER 12, SINGLE SPACING

- Dialogue reveals character :
A character will talk about himself and other people will talk about him.
- DIALOGUE ESTABLISHES RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN CHARACTERS:
Once you have established your main character’s POV, you can use dialogue with other characters to show that they have other attitudes, creating opposite/alternative POVs.
- This helps to create and sustain the element of conflict between characters.
- GOOD EFFECTIVE DIALOGUE WILL MOVE THE STORY FORWARD.
-DIALOGUE COMMUNICATES FACTS AND INFORMATION TO THE AUDIENCE:
It conveys essential exposition
Characters will talk about what happened, establishing the storyline.
-DIALOGUE COMMENTS ON THE ACTION
- DIALOGUE TIES THE SCRIPT TOGETHER:

it is one of the devices that YOU as a writer can use to expand and exlarge your characters.

Quote: “if you can see it or hear, don’t write it” – Neville Smith

-Dialogue should be used sparingly
- NEVER TELL WHAT AUDIENCES WHAT THEY CAN SEE THEMSELVES!
<<Dialogue is no substitute for action>>

In Hollywood when they look at a page and it’s got too much black, too much ink on the paper, they say:
“SHIT! IT’S FREEZE THE CAMERA TIME!!”

- COMMON MISTAKE:
students somethings never achieve a level of competence as they tend to reproduce conventional spoken languauge, long statements of “REAL TALKING”, and defend their decision by telling us that: “IT’S HOW THE CHARACTER SPEAKS.”
- GOOD DIALOGUE is not somebody’s ability to write authentic speech as heard in real life.
Bad Dialogue: Cheesy/Unfocused/Inappropriate/Wrong Tone/Long Winded
- If that was all there is to it, you can just push a button on the tape recorder and go collect your oscar.
- GOOD DIALOGUE is the illusion of reality:
***you’ve got to know how to edit what people say without losing any of the spirit.
COMMON MISTAKE
- Students tend to create radio shows with images
<<FILM IS A VISUAL MEDIUM>>
A SCREENPLAY IS A STORY TOLD IN PICTURES.

-A true story may not necessarily be a good story.
-Stories have to be worked and reworked
-True life stories do not offer neat and relevant endings
-Life is unpredictable
-In a story, we can and must control the events and sequences so that it gives the appearance of being like life

Characterisation: Defining the character

-Every story starts with a character
- The character is: the heart, the soul, and nervous system
- It is through your characters that the viewers experience emotions.
-Without a character, there is no action
-Without action, you have no conflict
-Without conflict, there’s no story
Without story, there’s no screenplay.

Developing Characters

-When developing a character, ask yourself:
+ Who’s the character? (Traits)
+ What does he want?
+ What is his quest?
+ What drives him to the resolution of the story?

-Establish your main character!
- Characters should have a 3 Dimensional Structure
a)Physiology (Gender, age, height, weight, colour of hair, eyes skin, posture, appearance, defects, abnormalities, deformities, birth marks, diseases, heredity)
b)Sociology (Social class- lower, middle, upper, Occupation- type of work, hours of work, income, condition of work, attitude towards organisation, suitability of work, Education- amount, kind of schools, marks, favourite subjects, poorest subjects, aptitudes, Home Life- parents living, earning power, orphan, parents seperated/divorced, parents’ habits, parents’ mental development, parents’ vices, neglect, character’s marital status, Religion, Race, Nationality, Place in the community; leader among friends, clubs, sports, Political Affiliations, Amusements: hobbies, books, newspapers, magazines he/she reads)
c)Psychology (Sex life, Moral Standards, Personal Premise, Ambition, Frustrations, Chief Disappointments, Temperament- choleric, easy-going, pessimistic, optimistic, Attitude Towards Life- resigned, militant, defeatist, Complexes- obsessions, inhibitions, superstitions, phobias, Personality- extrovert, introvert, Abilities- language, talents, Qualities- imagination, judgement, taste, poise, IQ, EQ, What is the deep and personal secret the character has which he is desperate to protect hide?)

It means something bad happens as a result of a flaw in your character, and you show how this tragic fall forces your character to learn something about herself or himself.

E.g.
Flaws >>>> Results
- Jealousy >> Death Threat
- Rage >> Violence
- Impulsive >> Misunderstanding
- Gullible
- too kind >> being taken advantage of
- trustworthy

- Sparked off by an event
- Reflect on emotions then/now
- Most important thing

- Purpose of exercise
+Letter is practical, personal example of how a character (YOU) undergo an inevitable process of change.
+ This process of change is an essential ingredient of any effective story.
+ In dramatic writing, the very essence is character change

Storytelling Tool 2 – Experience (what you really go through)

- A storyteller should be concerned with the potential of every experience
- Everything about you – where you were born, what food you eat, the bump on your forehead – your experiences are unique and irreplaceable.
- Many of your experiences are universal and translatable and can be used in any location.

*Tip:
- If you don’t know what to do with a character, make him yourself for a while.
- See how he relates to the world he has been thrown into.
-PLUNDER YOUR OWN PERSONAL BACKGROUND
the things that happen to you as you grow up and the things that are currently happening to you make terrific story sources.
- Record experiences (diary, blog)
- Reflect your past.
- Recall how you felt then/now.
- All people have fragments of stories
- These potential ideas prompt your desire to know more
- Respond emotionally(first) and intellectually to what you heard.
- Good stories are born in the heart, not the head.
- Initial ideas take place in your heart, and development takes part in head!
- Remember the role of an audience

Storytelling Tool 3: Memory (is manufactured, is what you remember)

- Your memory is a wonderful cabinet of past incidents which you have experienced or been told
- These memories are points of reference to your own existence

Tip:
- Write what you do not know because you will find some part of you that does know by- imagination, research, interview.
- There is always room for personal discovery.
- How do we use memory to build creative content

-Why would we classify Andy as a tragic hero?

He has a really successful career as a banker and is really smart which makes us admire him and at the same time he also has this flaw. He buries himself in his work and ignores his family driving his spouse to cheat on him. And honestly I didn’t suspect that he killed his wife from the start and the reason I think would be that he just appears to be very civilised and calm to me in court and that just convinced me that he was innocent. We would classify him as tragic because he had to pay so much more then for his mistake of ignoring his spouse.

-What was his flaw and how did it cause his fall from grace?

His obsession with his job and his lack of control caused him to lose his spouse and contemplate murder.

-What lessons did he learn from his mistakes?

Honestly, I would say that his two mistakes was being in the car with the gun and trusting the head of the prison. And the lesson I think he had learnt is that even though he had gotten a punishment that’s really too severe, he has to deal with it and that there’s always hope.

-How did he change and how did he change others?

Being a smart guy, he knew he was in a corrupted place and he adapted. He resorted to dirty and illegal tricks to survive inside.
He changed the others by staying positive and influencing them with his positive energy and he also helped make the prison a better  place by convincing the government to grant him allowance.

- Observe in a conscious way (know that you are observing a person)
*behaviour
*attire
*speech
*stance/gait
+posture
+gestures
*physical appearance
Acronym:
A – Attire
B – Behaviour
C – Characteristic
D – Dialogue
E – Expression
F – Facial Features
G – Gestures

- Train yourself to see and record:
*movements
*physical characteristics
*settings

- Adopt a KEEN eye

- Develop a natural SENSE OF CURIOSITY
*An observed event, when subject to simple questions, can set up a sequence of possibilities that will develop into a story
worth telling.

- Trigger Questions
*Whom am I writing about?
*Who is my character?
*What he/she like?
*What does he/she do?
*What happens to him/her in the story

Awareness Level

- People rarely observe FAMILIAR people or things closely
- Most people pass through the day with 20-30% awareness.

Mindless Observation vs True Observation

Exercise: People-Watch

1. Walk into the canteen/library, etc. and watch people pass by.
2. Eventually, one will catch your attention.
3. Write down as many details as possible through observation.

Definition:

-Disagreement

-hostile encounter

-struggle (can be mentally, physcially, emotionally).

*Opposition of persons or forces

*Can result internally or externally

*It is the interaction of opposing ideas, interests or wills that creates the plot.

Types of conflict.

-Dramatic conflict is the protagonist’s struggle against something or someone.

eg. man vs man, man vs enviroment, man vs system, man vs self.

-Variations of conflict can arise from gender, age, religion and culture.

Causes & Effects of Conflict

-Conflicts arises when there is CHANGE

-Changes may be minor or major.

-While change is universal and common, it is not always accepted.

-Examples of changes:
Seasons, lives, relationships, feelings, bodies, locations, technologies.

-Conflict arises when people resist changes

-The intensity of conflict depends how people react to the change

-People must learn to cope with change if they want to survive.

-The action in drama depends on conflict.

Importance of Conflict

-Plot cannot be constructed without conflict.

-Central feature of the scrennplay

-As your characters attempt to reach their goals, they come into conflict with each other.

-The end of the story nears when the protagonist and antagonist approach their goals and the conflict rises to generate maximum suspense and excitment.

Writer’s purpose.

To connect the audiences :

*Themselves

*Their unique vision

*The material/issue

*The drama

*others

Audiences want to be transported by  screenplay.

Where to look for a story

-Within yourself eg. experiences, memories, emotions

-Practice observing, ‘listening’ and reading body language of people

-Figure how to connect your viewers to your story through emotions, characters, etc.